http://youtu.be/ANb8E2o9OdU

 

Please, please watch this video. Ilona is an amazing individual who campaigns against eating disorders of all kinds, not just the “obvious” ones portrayed by the media.

 

At school I was told I was stupid. I was compared to my sister and my friends who are now mainly doctors, solicitors, barristers, etc. But being told that day in day out by teachers really got to me, gave me low self esteem and this horrible recurring depression and anxiety cycle.

 

Anyway, one way that I thought I could be as good was to stay skinny, we were taught about Victorian waist sizes in history when we were about 14 and as I was “a late bloomer” I was the only one in the class who had a Victorian sized waist. Ah hah – this could be something I could be better at.

 

So I skipped breakfast telling my mum I’d get something at school. throw my lunch away or not bother going and then push my dinner around my plate. In my head I was telling myself I just wasn’t hungry, didn’t want to eat. Part of it was also my depression, not feeling worthy of eating. By the time I left home for Uni I was roughly 6stone and 5’4″, I was slim but no one other than my mum commented on it. I got annoyed at her, I wasn’t anorexic, I just didn’t want to eat, I didn’t feel like eating, anorexics have to go to hospital and won’t eat anything at all, I ate something every day.

 

It was only on reading Ilona’s article in April’s Marie Claire that it clicked, I did have an ED, it was part of my depression but it was still an ED. This month I apologised to my mum and she said she knew, she worried and was pleased I had finally realised it.

 

I still have moments where I think I should lose weight, but I know I shouldn’t I’m healthy, I have a good BMI and as my boyfriend tells me he loves my curves and I love being able to wear dresses and fill them rather than having bones sticking over the top.

 

Thank you Ilona!

J

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