I am determined to fight how I’ve been feeling.

I’ve not blogged in a week. I know my blogs all appear to be from today but I have copied them from my previous site, which I was stuggling to use, to this one and categorised them as historical.

So what has happened these past 7 days? Pain, lack of movement, a little more pain, feeling down and a few stressful days.

On Monday I attended a group discussion regarding fund raising and I think it was a little sooner than I was able to manage, especially considering the pain. On reflection I’m glad I did it but it was the first time I was with a group of strangers or in a non therapy/medical situation since I was at work. I came out with a cracking headache and my back and neck pain was awful.

Tuesday was my second session with the Schema therapist, one more to go and then the group will start soon. I’m terrified of the group. My therapist has tried to reassure me but I am still so worried. I am really getting to grips with the idea of schema and working my way out of feeling so low and if I keep testing myself by doing things like I did on Monday I think I can get there. I’m not quite ready for another experience like that too soon though.

I am pleased to say since the manipulation the physio did on Wednesday has made my arm pain better and I have a lot more movement in it, which is fantastic. I am still in a lot of pain from my head, shoulders, neck and back but am doing exercises from the physio and had an amazing long soak in epsom salts yesterday which made me feel more human.

So that brings me to today and the thought that if I keep fighting, keep doing as the doctors say, keep listening to my body and not my head so much I will get there…wherever there is.