Firstly let me apologise that so many of my blogs have been focussing on depression rather than my POTS but it has really taken over lately and I’ve been lucky enough because of the depression that I’ve not been going out much to catch germs, get tired and have spent time resting.

 

Again though things got low last night, I just felt like everything was pointless & I was driving people away. I keep getting new followers & then losing them on Twitter. I often wonder why people start following me and then what I do to drive them away, it’s an open profile so why don’t they just check it out first? Maybe it’s because my Twitter is as diverse as I am, I love reading, writing, baking, I talk about my POTS, my depression, my anxiety, my dwindling faith in any hope of being able to survive and my frustration in politics. Maybe some people are just interested in one thing or another & give up when I talk about something I’m not interested in. I’m not tracking who is/isn’t following me – I just have an urge to know why. Also maybe some may like my positive tweets and others may just like seeing someone moody. Who knows? As my therapist has said I can’t know what people are thinking. But I still have this self esteem issue as to why? Anyway, as long as those I hold close stick with me then I don’t really mind!

 

Anyway back to the POSITIVITY theme! 

 

In addition to my 15 minute worry time, I’m going to have a 15 minute creative planning time (this may also include a to do list-but never shopping lists or cleaning lists) it’s all about fun, positive things to move my life forward. I can’t sit & cry every night anymore.

 

So a few of the things I have to do are:

Keep up with this blog & hopefully make it a bit more user friendly.

Keep writing in general.

Get back on my baking blog, baking email, baking twitter, etc.

Keep up with my mood journal.

Add to my positive book.

Sort out the many bookmarked pages on my computer.

Sort out the favourites on Twitter, which I say I’ll read when I have more time!

Sort out my iPod!

There are more but I won’t bore you more than I already have! I’m also going to make sure I don’t try to over do things, if I don’t do all this today (and I won’t!) it doesn’t make me bad, it makes me human and will save me some spoons for baking tomorrow! I’ll do what I can in my own time and be pleased with whatever I have achieved – I started the month using #moosemarch but things got bad and I abandoned all sense of my own achievement.


Instead I will have an achievement list on here – if I can figure out how to have a separate list to just the posts. I do wish I was better with technology – although it is worrying that my mum, dad, their friends, my boyfriend and sister rely on me to help them with tech :-S.


Please keep your eyes peeled for any new updates.


Thanks

J

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