Surrounded by noisy, demanding family does not help me put my new rule in to practise. Had lots of valerian and diazepam. But still so stressed and anxious, toes curling within my slipper boots with anxiety.


“I don’t know how you can drink that foul smelling stuff” ie my valerian water, “I’d be scratching at the walls if I didn’t”. Only my dad seems to understand & identify with me.


Still sitting at my parents’ with the whole clan so will leave this for now. Hopefully I’ll be able to add more later, in a calmer state.


J x 


Ok, so I’m home now and having just read the above realise how selfish, disrespectful & down right rude I sound.


I have the best family in the world, but they are loud, they do interupt me, they don’t always listen but they are so supportive (sometime a little too supportive where their anxiety makes me more anxious – hee hee).


Glad to have my feet up at the flat. Had a POTS turn, having been freezing earlier through the day, I suddenly felt faint, when clammy and pale. A lie down, a salty snack and a pint of water later I was ok, tired but ok. Hence now being in bed.


I really do have an amazing family but when so many people get together it can be so tiring but they all appreciate this.

I love my family to bits.

J x