So we’re now seven days in to 2014 and I have spent most of the time in bed.

I’ve not even been able to spend the time in bed productively – setting up my website or creating lesson plans as I had intended to do with the bad days this year. I’m not sure of the cause behind this latest POTS flare, whether it’s the series of weather fronts that have been battering the UK day after day, my body recovering from Christmas, whether I have an infection or a combination of them all. Whatever the cause it’s hitting me hard; every day this year I have either woken up with, or developed a migraine, no amount of essential oils, sumatriptan or heat has soothed them and I’ve been sleeping for about 12 hours each night in an attempt to get my body back on track.

In addition to the migraines I’ve been dealing with syncope, nausea and a general ache through my whole body, which feels like the pain is radiating from my skin into my bones.

With this in mind I wanted to highlight how isolating chronic illnesses are. Just based on my current symptoms: the body aches mean that I can’t stand being touched, so I am constantly frustrating my other half, who struggles seeing me in pain and understandably just wants to hug me to make me feel better. The migraines are making me irritable with anyone who dares to try  communicating with me and limits my time on social media. With fainting when vertical for more than five minutes leaving the flat just isn’t an option. Previously the isolation has fed my anxiety and depression and just made matters worse.

I know I’m in a more fortunate position than a lot of people, and bearing this in mind I am determined to make 2014 different.

It has got off to a bad start, however, tomorrow I am joining some of my friends in the 100 Happy Days project and will find something to be happy about, even if it is just something from my bed!

2013 taught me that no matter what I think society thinks*, it’s ok for me to rest if I am ill and hopefully in 2014 I can not only keep this up but also learn to accept POTS and myself.

I will talk more about isolation, acceptance and 100 Happy Days soon, but for now I need to switch off the computer and rest.

 

 

* I will write about this soon.

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